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Feast 3 DVDRip
I often lament the state of horror movies these days. If it’s not a remake of some schlock splatterhouse flick from the 70s or 80s or a derivation of a foreign concept, it’s some trite excuse to flash tits covered in buckets of gore. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, good horror is supposed to be a little bad. But there’s a limit. Netflix is resplendent with an assortment of tersely titled grindhouse wannabes, churned out by guys with digital camcorders, Suicide Girl fetishes, and lifetime Fangoria subscriptions. Being a horror writer myself, Awesome. Starting off right where the last one left off. I mean literally. The last five minutes of the last movie are the first five of this one. It’s the principle of Robert Zemeckis: Why make one shitty sequel when you can make two at once? So for those of you keeping score, a bunch of assholes nobody likes are stuck on a roof in a terrible town while monsters try to eat them. I had held a desperate hope that they would have cleaned house castwise like they did between the original (and superiorly funspirited) Feast and Feast II. Instead, they did up a Back to the Feaster II and Feaster III Triple Feast. If Christopher Lloyd doesn’t drive a train off a cliff, this movie already fails.
00:00:36: Clu Gulager, the director’s father, is back as the Bartender who won’t fucking die. He’s standing in the middle of the desert, staring angrily into the camera, saying, “Thanks for fucking my potential acting retirement plan, son. I couldn’t be a stunt hand in a Turkish jerkoff film now. Joke’s on you, I blew your inheritance on hookers and Pixie Sticks.”
00:03:00 Seriously, this is just the end of the last movie. That’s some green filmmaking, Ed Begley Jr. Why this didn’t kill at Sundance is beyond me. If they filmed a compost pile decaying it’d get a four picture fucking deal these days. And yet we’re going to SXSW, where anyone can be a filmmaker if they have $75.
00:04:00: Now I remember why I hate everyone from the last film. Didn’t they kill everyone, goddammit?
00:04:45: Finally! New footage! Honey Pie, my arch nemesis who survived in the credits of the last film — IS DEAD! One of the monsters decrapitated the broad. I don’t care how annoyingly resilient you appear to be. Nobody gets up from a deheadening. Ask the Kurgan.
00:04:47: The monster is eating Honey Pie’s huge noggin like a golden delicious apple. And now. The monster. Is crapping. A human head. Put that on your resume, Heigl.
00:05:00: I guess stupid bitch heads aren’t fortified with the nutrients monsters need to grow up and be in quality films. Five minutes in, and we’ve got recycled footage, a beheading, and scat humor. Stick with YouTube, kids. Five years from now, The Oscar will go to a documentary shot on cell phones. And it’ll be hosted by Tyler Perry.
00:05:30: Christ, again with the little yearbook writeups for the characters. The arc for the Bartender says, “WWII Vet, now fighting his greatest battle, blah-blah-blah.” I’m pretty sure this was the dominant pattern for the script. “They fight monsters with guns on the roof. Make sure chicks are topless. Blood and shit. Blah-blah-fritos scoops are teh shinzorgans.”
00:06:07: Joan Jett the Biker Queen is killing a monster with a motorcycle. I’m positive there’s some sort of austere symbolism for female empowerment going on that I’m not fully appreciating. Probably because she’s spouting such overwhelmingly powerful dialogue, “Die!” and “Bleed!”
00:06:20: “Bleed it out! Bleed it all out!” That’s what I scream at my girlfriend during her special lady time. What? If this movie’s not bringing the A-game, I’m certainly not. Tampax! Gets the red out!
00:06:35: “That’s some Pam Grier shit!” Slasher, the only black character. Congrats on reigniting apartheid, my brother. If memory serves me correctly, the last movie ended with them getting swarmed by monsters on the roof. Where have all the monsters gone? Are they with the cowboys?
00:07:00: Somebody slip in the blood, somebody slip in the blood! C’mon, this calls for some wacky Stoogian hijinks!
00:07:10: What in the piss purple fuck?! Greg Swank is STILL ALIVE? The motherfucker got a steel pipe blasted through his head! It’s still there! They replayed the scene just so we knew! Fucking Swank is played by the goddamn director’s brother. CHRIST! It was SWANK! Swank fell in the goop! Oh, retarded magic is not nearly as much fun to watch when you know where the coins are really disappearing to.
00:07:39: Oh, good. They’re shooting in night vision. So you can bask in all the glorious functionality of the $450 digital camcorder the movie was shot on. White balance next! Autofocus! Anti-tremble function! Whooo! Technology! AV CLUB 4EVA!
00:08:00: Oh, goddamn you, Secrets. I hope someone beats you Oprah and Blue with the Bible. If you recall, she’s called Secrets because she believes in “The Secret”. Also, she keeps repeating, “We gotta believe. We gotta believe.” Who says you can’t have witty social commentary in a grindhouse flick?
00:08:25: They keep going back and forth from nightvision to color. That’s going to use up most of the $65 budget. And a motherfucker needs his goddamn Fritos scoops.
00:08:28: Ahhhh! HAHAHAHAHA! I paused the DVD to write “I bet they’re gonna have a monster jump out from the shadows any second now.” And one did! But in the freeze frame, I can totally see the wire mesh inside the mouth of the costume that the actor looks through! I think it’s James Lipton! Lipton’s the fucking monster!
00:08:49: For those of you keeping score at home, Two monsters have been killed. All by gals. One Honey Pie left out in the rain. She’ll never have to be in the movie again. On our home team we’ve got: Bartender, Slasher, Biker Queen, Secrets, Greg Swank, two Tattooed Biker chicks named Tit Girl and Tat Girl, and theoretically Lightning, unless the midget budget ran over from the last film. Eight is enough! Eight people who will hopefully perish before long!
00:09:00: This movie officially includes more exposed breasts in the first ten minutes of any film I’ve ever seen before, and I’m including pornography.
00:09:37: They keep going close-up on the “dead” monster. I wonder if he’s really dead? Will he jump up and kill? “We’re what’s left of what’s left behind.” Sounds like the Samuel L. “Every Dead Black Hero” Jackson Memorial Monologue to me.
00:10:11: Nope. He lives. They just like zooming in in nightvision. A black guy’s just as green as you and me when the lights are out. Togetherness.
00:10:15: I give up. A guy in a jeep comes driving down the road. And WHATHEFUCKETYFUCKWHISTLE?! THUNDER IS STILL ALIVE?!!!
If you recall from the last movie, Thunder — the other half of the midget team — was splattered all over the street by the ill-fated but awesome midget catapult experiment. He was then subsequently torn in half by the monsters, but being a midget, I’m not sure what fraction that represents. Potentially a third.
And here he is, as a fucking tiny torso with intestines hanging out, STILL ALIVE! And doing reverse pushups.
00:10:20: This must be a new character. He’s driving an army jeep with a spiked ram on the front. He just ran over Thunder! That’s no way to treat your marquee midget, Gulager. Motherfucker was in Pirates of the Caribbean Elevenses: The Search for Ulee’s Gold.
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Portable Opera Unite 10.10.1892 | Size: 9.33 MiB
Languages (43): CZ, DE, DK, EN, ES, FI, FR, HU, HR, IT, NL, NO, PL, PT, SE, TR;
BG, BY, GR, RU, UA and many more The most full-featured Internet power tool on the market, Opera includes tabbed browsing, pop-up blocking, integrated searches and advanced functions like Opera's groundbreaking e-mail program, RSS Newsfeeds and IRC chat. And because we know that our users have different needs, you can customize the look and content of your Opera browser with a few clicks of the mouse.
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Kat Player is an advanced music manager and audio player to best fit the needs of all music lovers.
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| Publisher: ifamous :: 21 November 2009 :: view: 59 |
 cFosSpeed 5.00 Build 1560 Final x64 | 6.77mbis a network driver, which attaches itself to existing Internet connections. It then optimizes data transfer by means of Traffic Shaping. Traffic Shaping is a method for optimizing the Internet traffic. It allows maximum speed while ensuring minimal Ping. You can use cFosSpeed with a router and/or a DSL-modem or cable-modem. You can also use cFosSpeed with other types of Internet access, ie. whe never you already have an existing Internet connection. cFosSpeed supports a wide variety of connections, like DSL, cable, ISDN, UMTS, etc. cFosSpeed has two goals - keep network delays (ping times) small, in order to make Internet applications as responsive as possible. And improve data throughput by avoiding network congestions. You can use cFosSpeed with an Internet connection you use exclusively or which you share with several PCs.
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#5 :: Hidden Object Games Pack -12in1- AIO (2009) |
Games |
| Publisher: danilko :: 21 November 2009 :: view: 64 |
Hidden Object Games Pack -12in1- AIO (2009) | 962 Mb Hidden Object Games Pack -12in1- AIO - this is the collection of the best games of a long series of hidden object games that will come. You will solve magic riddles, thrilling stories, mystery puzzles and walk on fantasy lands.
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#6 :: Roxette - Look Sharp (Remastered) 2009 |
Music |
| Publisher: lee07 :: 21 November 2009 :: view: 34 |
 Roxette | Look Sharp | 2009Pop | MP3 | 217 Kbps avg VBR | 104 mb
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| Publisher: KissYou :: 21 November 2009 :: view: 54 |
Tom And Jery (Vol 7) l 700 MB As we all know the Tom and Jerry is a very famous and popular cartoon, which is liked by most or all the kids.
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| Publisher: hienkbmns :: 21 November 2009 :: view: 41 |
RegistryBooster 2010 4.5.0.18 | 5.8 MB RegistryBooster is the easy answer to all your Windows registry problems. This award winning software starts by conducting a deep scan of your registry, checking for file extension errors and other registry conflicts. RegistryBooster will then repair or remove unused, corrupted and harmful files so optimizing your PC’s performance. You can then use regular scans to keep you registry structured and your PC speeding along at peak efficiency. With RegistryBooster you’ll see immediate increases in performance and decreases in system conflicts.
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WinRescue XP v1.08.44 | 5 Mb WinRescue backs up the Registry and important configuration files, packs the Registry, troubleshoots problems, provides fivefold protection from system crashes, backs up any and all files that you desire, and much more (see below).
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#10 :: Error Repair Professional 4.0.8 |
Softwares |
Error Repair Professional v4.0.8 | 5 Mb Keep your PC operating smoothly by using Error Repair Professional to identify and repair hidden errors inside your PC. With only a single click, it will scan your PC for any invalid registry entries and provides a list of the hidden errors found. You can then choose to selectively clean each item or automatically repair them all.
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Norton Antivirus 2010 v17.1.0.19 | 91 Mb Norton AntiVirus 2010 will be the fastest and lightest malware scanner Symantec has ever delivered. The Norton AntiVirus application scans faster and uses less memory than any other antivirus product on the market. Unlike free solutions from Microsoft, Norton AntiVirus includes intrusion detection to detect malicious code hidden in web sites before it can strike.
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Symantec Norton Ghost v15.0 | 120 MB Norton Ghost 15.0 protects PCs-including all applications, settings, folders, and files-with advanced backup and recovery. It provides powerful protection with new features such as offsite backups and Symantec ThreatCon integration, as well as enhanced performance, one-to-one remote management, LightsOut Restore capability, and more. With Norton Ghost 15.0, you have a choice of backup types: full system (disk image) or specific files and folders. Backups include encryption and error checking to help keep your data safe, while compression, incremental backups, and automatic backup file management minimize storage space.
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TuneUp Utilities 2010 v9.0.2010.16 | 21.6 Mb TuneUp Utilities can make your Windows operating system faster, more comfortable and more secure with just a few mouse clicks. And all operations performed on the operating system are completely safe, because all changes are monitored by TuneUp Rescue Center and can be undone at any time. All TuneUp Utilities modules can be accessed through a common interface that is divided into six categories.
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#14 :: Peter Pan Return To Neverland 2002 DVDRip XviD-DEiTY |
Video » Movies |
Peter Pan Return To Neverland 2002 DVDRip XviD-DEiTY
XViD | 1185 kbps | MP3 2Ch | 140kbps 48kHz | Genre: Animation/Family | 71 MiN 52 SEC | 750MB
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0280030/
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#15 :: Richard Hammond Top Gear Uncovered 2009 XviD-FM |
Video » Movies |
Richard Hammond Top Gear Uncovered 2009 XviD-FM
English | Genre: Sports | 1h 2mn | 693.49 MB
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Richard-Hammonds-Top-Gear-Uncovered/dp/B002KSA4BA/ref=sr_1_2
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#16 :: 1Password 3.0.0 (build 30300) Final |
Softwares |
1Password 3.0.0 (build 30300) Final | Mac Os X | 14 MB 1Password is a password manager that uniquely brings you both security and convenience. It is the only program that provides anti-phishing protection and goes beyond password management by adding web form filling and automatic strong password generation. All your confidential information, including passwords, identities, and credit cards, is kept secure in one secure place using a highly encrypted keychain.
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#17 :: Top 100 Pop Love Songs (1950-2006) |
Music |
| Publisher: MegaDance :: 20 November 2009 :: view: 113 |
Artist: VA
Title: Top 100 Pop Love Songs (1950-2006)
Genre: Pop - Love
Year: 2009
Tracks: 100
Quality: 320 kbps
Size: ~ 951 MB
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#18 :: Portable Jojo's Fashion Show: World Tour 1.0 Eng |
Games |
| Publisher: b1u3eyes :: 20 November 2009 :: view: 98 |
 Portable Jojo's Fashion Show: World Tour 1.0 Eng | 216 MBNew models, hot styles and an all new Design Mode await you in the highly anticipated Jojo's Fashion Show World Tour. What's new? You get to design your own gorgeous outfits and see them on the runway!
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| Publisher: acacura :: 20 November 2009 :: view: 104 |
1Password 3.0.0 (build 30300) Final | Mac Os X | 14 MB 1Password is a password manager that uniquely brings you both security and convenience. It is the only program that provides anti-phishing protection and goes beyond password management by adding web form filling and automatic strong password generation. All your confidential information, including passwords, identities, and credit cards, is kept secure in one secure place using a highly encrypted keychain.
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#20 :: VA - Muz Xtreme Hits Remix (2009) |
Music |
| Publisher: kep :: 20 November 2009 :: view: 93 |
Artist: VA Album: Muz Xtreme Hits Remix Year: 2009 Genre: Mix Bitrate: 320 kbps Tracks: 20 Size: 111 mb
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Tags Cloud |
2009, ?????°?‡?°?‚??, ?????·?‹???°, and, club, Collection, dance, design, DMZ, Documentary, DVDRip, Hotfile, House, HQ, Images, magazine, movie, mp3, music, Of, Pack, photo, Photoshop, pictures, pop, Portable, Pro, release, Soft, Software, song, Stock, The, Trance, Video, Wallpapers, Windows, XVid, ìóçûêó, ñêà÷àòüShow all tags |
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